remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last