I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering