I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
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HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
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Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage