Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
she looked like the before picture.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Randomize
