hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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