If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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