If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
