You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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