That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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