I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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