Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
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I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize