she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
