I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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