So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
