His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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