it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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