i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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