More tranny stories later!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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