My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
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one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
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The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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