Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
