Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize