Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
