I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
