just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize