Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
