Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
