I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize