Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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