are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
