would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
