She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
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