I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
