Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
