There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
