Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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