The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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