I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
