The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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