I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
