Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
