I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
There's always time for handjobs
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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