I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize