i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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