The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
