we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
