Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
i now understand why vodka
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
