someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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