The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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