At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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