member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
