ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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