honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Randomize
