Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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