I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
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