I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
