Those balls look pretty dangerous.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
COCAINE IS GR8
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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