Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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