There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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