idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
