you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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