Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
