People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
