worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize