just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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