I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
