How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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