I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
