Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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