pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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